Busting mine to save yours

Working in the medical field was not my first choice. My childhood fantasy was to become a librarian. Seriously. I love to read with a passion that is borderline unhealthy, so working in a library seemed like the perfect job to me. So imagine my surprise 20 years later when I find myself going through LVN school, passing my NCLEX and becoming a nurse. I was terrified. Am I really ready to hold someone's life in my hands?  After 4 months I can confidently say, I am still terrified. I work in long term care so it's largely geriatrics. That's a lot of health care issues and even more medications, some I have never even heard of. (7 times out of 10 I'm hiding in the back googling a medication because pharm sucks)  I encounter new challenges, awkward situations, and pushy family members. Death and disease are always lurking around the corner. Some (most) days I want to run screaming from the building as it burns to the ground and those are the days that I hate the most. Because it makes my job that much harder. But I wake up every morning and trudge back into the trenches because I work in the business of people. Someone's grandma is relying on me to come to work and take care of her. So I show up with a huge smile and an open heart and a prayer for a good day. And if I'm lucky, I get one.